Windows Update Repair Tool

From the Tech Bench

I am so embarrassed. On my first trip to the library near my new home, I angered the librarian.
I tried to convince her that her computer was infected. I saw that iron look that says, “Oh, boy, another know-it-all.” I saw that look and still I offered to help.

Sometimes I think it is easier for a one-armed fisherman to describe “the one that got away” than for a computer tech to explain what is wrong with a customer's computer.

A fisherman holding one hand to his left and looking to his right, is implying that the fish was twice the distance from that hand to his breastbone. That is a visible standard. That is something human, which even a hardened geek can understand.

In contrast to that, a tech has to convince his user that the computer is behaving abnormally, when it is self-evidently running as usual.

The tech's problem is exacerbated by the fact that some new computers are clabbered-up from the git-go. The owner never saw it run right, because it came from the factory overloaded with questionable software.

Years ago one company that gave away free computers, conditional on a three year contract with a certain Internet provider. The manufacturer made all its money off the advertisers. You can imagine what kind of customer service they gave.

Even the big computer companies started installing adware after 911. When we all got scared and quit buying, the manufacturers became desperate for income, any income.

I heard about a televised interview in which the executive of a computer company admitted without shame, “Yes, when our customers call for help, we know what the problem is and how to solve it. All they have to do is install, update and run Ad-aware, then install, update and run Spybot – Search and Destroy. But we can't tell them that, because it would be a violation of the contract we have with our software providers.”

Let me rephrase that for you: The executive confessed that his company is paid by advertisers to install data-miners on new computers. A data-miner is software designed to collect information about the computer owner and transmit that information to advertisers. His company is selling their customers into the hands of advertisers.

I admit the spyware spectrum runs from benign to malignant – and the executive probably believed his data-miners were benign – but to those of us who fix computers for a living, the admission sounds like Judas saying “Yes, I took thirty pieces of silver. So?”

One of the problems with having adware on a computer is that it tends to invite in its relatives. And adware comes from a BIG family. Pretty soon your computer starts running slooow; like an economy car with the handbrake set.

Worse, when you “restore” these computers after a crash, the manufacturer-provided software restores the data-miners, too.

Some customers think I'm dishonest when I tell them their computer is broke.

I can't blame them. Why should they think otherwise? It is running just like new!

The definition of a good virus is one that doesn't alert you to its presence. Regardless of the virus' designed function, if it breaks your computer badly enough that you have it fixed, then the virus was unsuccessful. Unsuccessful in the same sense that rabies is “unsuccessful” when it kills its host before it can propagate.

Still, some signs of a sick computer are so blatant they can be diagnosed by a passing tech during his sprint for the little boy's room.

And that was what I found on the library computer.

That big blue “e” icon on your computer's desktop, the one you click to start Internet Explorer? It is supposed to have a gold ring. If it doesn't have that golden halo, then your security updates are about three years out of date.

The librarian was angry because she interpreted my words as accusing her of not doing the updates. Her anger prevented her from hearing the next sentence, that if she is doing her part - if she is running Windows Update every month and still has the old blue-ring “e” - then the computer is broken.

I is an invidious problem because a computer with the broken Updater behaves very like a computer that is up to date. The only visible difference is that “e”.

I don't know what broke it. I don't care whether it was a virus or spyware or old age. It isn't a commonly discussed problem and I'm not good enough to figure it out.

But just because I don't know what broke it, doesn't mean I can't fix it!

In this case the fix is to search for and download a program called WURTBETA.EXE. That stands for Windows Update Repair Tool Beta.

Double-click on it. It will go to “black screen” and ask you a series of intimidating questions. Just agree with whatever it suggests. After awhile WURTBETA will return control of the computer to you.

I think you will be pleased the next time you run Windows Update.

Well, alarmed and then pleased. For years Windows has been telling you that your security was current and now you will have years worth of updates to download. But at least now you can update.

Uh,... do your backups first.

Oh, and if you meet an angry librarian, apologize to her for me, please. My intentions were good, I'm just socially challenged. I'm a geek.